A Positive Change

Without realizing it, mental lists of complaints can start forming in our heads. We often look at the things that our spouse hasn’t done or isn’t doing and get frustrated. Having this mental list doesn’t make us feel positive towards our spouse or our marriage.

In fact, if these thoughts continue without being expressed (at the right time and in the right way, of course) it can be harmful to a marriage.

If it seems that your spouse isn’t meeting your needs you need to:

Start thinking positively: Make a physical list about positive things that your spouse does for you. Compliment your spouse daily about one of those things on that list. Constantly saying positive things now will make it easier for your spouse to receive constructive criticism later on. 

Do something your spouse loves: Focus on a specific need your spouse has. Do something that your spouse knows is outside of your comfort zone. 

Change your attitude: Nurturing a positive marriage requires a positive attitude, positive actions, and positive words. 

Being positive towards your spouse, automatically makes you feel more satisfied about your relationship. Changing a selfish outlook to an unselfish one makes each spouse think about the other’s needs.

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17 thoughts on “A Positive Change

  1. There are times, when the above will fail to nudge the other spouse to consider meeting the neglected spouse’s needs. Do not be afraid to bring up and discuss areas where your needs are not being met. Failing to speak up, and living with unmet needs just to avoid conflict is very destructive to marriages.

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    1. Speaking up about feelings can also bring about change but there has to be actions behind those words. Constructive criticism must always be given with the best of intentions and to improve the relationship,never to get back or to hurt the other person.

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  2. We do daily gratitudes of everything that we’re grateful for that day. It’s definitely been a great way to get us away from always seeing the negative in each other or in our daily lives.

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  3. Very truthful and practical post, I think every person in a committed relationship can relate to this and it is so good to be reminded to focus on the positive! Thank you for sharing.

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  4. Thank you for this post. Changing a selfish outlook to an unselfish one… Learning the language at which our spouse loves is so important. So many people these days focus on what we “wish” our spouse could do or what they “don’t pay attention to”… the hints… the clues, etc. But if we first understand how our spouse loves, how they show affection, security and care… we open up another door to the relationship.

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    1. A good point, Tim. If we know how our spouse shows love, we could understand them better and that understanding would make that marriage a more beautiful one.
      Thank you so much for your comment!

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